Let's also say I am thankful today for perhaps a little extra layer of "insulation", as it probably afforded me the luxury of limited injury.
The wx advisory is just that - an advisory - "hey folks. the temp and level of precip is just perfect to form a little ice on surfaces...so, god speed." Right? I get it. Mark and I even made sure that we did all of our running around yesterday so we could avoid needing to be out and about this morning. Perfect.
Two things necessitated my journey onto the front steps this morning. #1 - old grey cat got out last night, did come back a few hours later but apparently left us a little feline present on the front stairs. SO, naturally, upon discovery of said "gift" this morning, I wanted to get rid of it asap. #2 reason - the Sunday paper finally arrived around 10 (I thought maybe I had neglected to pay my bill but I guess it's a little slick and they were very behind in their deliveries).
Ok. There are my two reasons to step outside for a maximum of 3 minutes - to take care of these two items. Oh no, my friend, nature has other plans for you in your sweater, comfy pj pants and fuzzy (NOT very grippy!!!) slippers...
The event:
1. Willa says "Mom the paper is here". Got it. Go get paper. I don't have to leave the door step to reach for the paper (good job, paper boy!). Oh, yuck - thanks, Gracie - that is a seriously disgusting rodent murder scene on my top step - GROSS! I need to take care of that.
2. Hmmmm...I think I will just grab the door mat and eject the carnage into the edge of the sleeping garden. No problem. Go get slippers - don't want my toes to get cold - looks like it might be a little slick too - note to self - be careful on steps.
3. Slippers on. Open front door. Cautiously step on what looks to be a dry spot - one foot out - don't want to step in kitty carnage. Blech. Don't want Mark to do this either as he will start to gag.
4. Further open door - right foot out - WHOA!!!! WTF!!! Holy cow!!! Sliding down...off the stairs...moving fast onto sidewalk....right slipper gone. Frantically trying to "swim" (? what? why?) back up the stairs to stop myself.
5. After what, of course, seemed like 5 minutes of sliding, finally came to a stop. How did I end up on my stomach? The ice beneath my hands is cold. Damn - I broke a nail (2?) trying to swim to a stop! My right ankle and knee are killing me. Stand up, you idiot - before someone sees you! oh lord, cannot stand up?!?!?! Are you KIDDING me?!?!
6. Using bare foot, slippered foot and hands...get myself upright again. Now...imagine the expletives streaming from my mouth at this point...(wait for it....probably a few more) yep. There.
7. Willa and Mark at door - genuinely concerned wondering HOW I had ended up in a sprawled slipper-less position on the sidewalk. Cartoon anger-steam still spouting from head!
8. Did manage to grip and pull myself back up into the house - kicking the crime scene and mat into the garden as I limped my way into the house. I will deal with that later.
This is a cautionary tale, my friends. If you live in the area...stay inside. As I write this, the pain from swimming up concrete stairs is beginning to set in on the entire right side of my body. Good story. Slightly bruised body and ego.
Britt = 0
Ice = 1
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