Several times, and what was also in the job description, was the responsibility to be a fairly regular substitute at the Tech College in Red Wing. The ABE (adult basic ed) program for Hiawatha Valley has a room at the college reserved for ABE and exam proctoring, etc...I have spent several afternoons over there - really not much going on. Apparently, no one wants to study and learn between the hours of 2-4:30. However, besides a time for me to learn more about this element of adult ed, I also get to chat with one of the cleaning people. And this is where this post originated...
I will, of course, change her name, as she has no idea I would be writing about our exchanges, but other more non-descript characteristics I will leave in tact, as they are part of her emerging story.
Mary.
The first time I met Mary, she was suprised to see a new face in the classroom. She also immediately showed me her shirt where her name was embroidered and shook my hand - hers, very strong hands...working hands. Never-manicured hands but hands that are part of Mary's story. She's very talkative. She has long graying hair pulled back in a braid that cascades down her back. Her face, along with her hands are weathered in a working-person's manner that reveals a potentially tough existence. I cannot pinpoint her age but based on the dog stories that flow freely, I am guessing she is in her 50's, maybe late 40's. Her working person's body might hide a younger person beneath. So my age-guessing might be off a bit. She is fit and moves efficiently from classroom to classroom. She knows, and openly admits she has a schedule to keep. There is also something very special about her. A child-like quality that is positively endearing. I am not sure Mary would be capable of anything cruel or demeaning. However, something about her strong fit body tells me she COULD kick some ass if something or someone threatened her dog.
I know we've all met people like this. And unless they catch our eye, they are easily dismissed as peripheral. Yes, the world needs, for diversity's sake, all kinds of people. However, maybe these very special people also have something else for us to learn - and not just to notice how hard they work to clean our classrooms, our offices, etc....but more importantly, how to just be in each moment and to be happy with what we have...and not the least of which is to find the joy around us - not manipulate our environment so we can perfect a situation where joy is inauthentically created.
See, Mary and I have something very special in common - something I have in common with many people but with Mary, it's even more important because of how she finds such pure and complete joy with our commonality. Mary has a Golden retriever. This is her first Golden retriever and she's always wanted one. This pup's name is Ruby and IS the joy in this woman's life. Mary has always wanted a Golden but because her dad and siblings always had other dogs, Mary wasn't able to have one. She hasn't revealed all of her life story but enough for me to infer a few things....1. Her father is no longer alive 2. Her siblings live their own lives elsewhere 3. Mary now lives alone, single (and possibly where she grew up?) but with a fabulous canine companion.
Last week, Mary shared with me her concerns over the hair mats near Ruby's ears...I laughed and commiserated over the continuous grooming perils of Goldens. She shared that she was so upset that she had called the vet to ask what she should do (can't you just imagine how, hopefully(!), calm and patient they would be with someone like this?)...Mary finally figured out on her own that these were just the Golden version of a hairball (my words, not her's) and she then explained in detail how she calmed Ruby down (Ruby is only a year old - still a baby) and very methodically used a fine-toothed comb to separate the skin from the bottom of the mat and trimmed very carefully, as to not cause this dog any more anxiety or god-forbid, nick her skin. The love for this animal as she was telling me her Ruby story damn near brougt me to my knees with tenderness and tears....Maybe because I understand the connnection with this breed, the looks they can give us....or maybe it was just the genuine love and joy of Mary figuring out how to best care for this dog, using all of her resources, just because she is as loyal to this dog, as the dog would be loyal to her (and if you have a Golden, or any dog for that matter, you know EXACTLY what this loyalty looks and feels like).
Yes, this is another dog story...of which I am prone to share on a regular basis. However it is so much more. Mary is the epitome of what it means to be human. The terrific part of being human. The amazing part of being human and sharing our existence with an animal. The human potential to find joy and happiness amidst all the ugliness of the world...and being true to living in the moment, on a daily basis, as a way of life. And maybe special humans, like Mary, have a better shot at living in the moment than the rest of us....but maybe not. Maybe the rest of us have just plain forgotten and/or disregarded this feature of being human, tossed aside for "more important things" like money, possessions, fighting against the unkown....
I don't know the answer to my own queries. I do know that I like my visits with Mary, where I am privileged to hear about life with Ruby. I will be back to the college in a couple of weeks. Mary will come in to empty the garbage and recycling...I hope she has time to give me an update.
